Have You Ever Asked If You Really Want a Hangover Cure?
Careful what you wish for. I preface by saying that I do NOT believe in curses. Or karma. Or much of anything actually.
Hangover cures are spelled wrong. It's a no-hangover curse.
I do believe in a hangover cure because I have experienced it and I know it exists. However, it's more like an antidote than a miracle "cure".
CONFESSION: Intox-Detox was just the tip of the iceberg. As in, there is 90% more below the surface. Following the analogy, what we have is frickin awesome and will prevent your cruise ship from sinking. However, it ain't perfect.
I have been saying for years that we don't address inflammation, stomach upset, headache or hydration. We just can't. Our 4 pills do a lot. Reality is that you need about 10.
You wouldn't buy that. Or would you?
This is me, a student of life on this planet, literally sharing my notes. Steal this idea from me and if you can market it well, you will be a billionaire, or at the very least never be hungover again. But do you really want that? (Return to that question soon).
Here's the final solution:
B-6 P5P - as much as you can get
B-12 methylated - 500 to 5000 mcg
B-1 - 100 to 500 mg
Vitamin C - 100 mg or more
NAC - 1500 mg
Setria L-Glutathione - 250 mg
Nicotinimide Riboside (NAD precursor) - 250 mg
Magnesium threonate (Neuro Mag or Magtein) - 150 mg
Japanese Raisin - 2700 mg
Boswellia - 500 to 1000 mg
Hops - 375 mg
Bromelain - 200 mg
White willow bark - 100 mg
Papain - 75 mg
ME-3 probiotic - 60 mg
Tex-OE - 800 IU
Hemp Oil - as much as you can get
Turmeric - as much as you can get
Ginger - 50 mg
Milk Thistle - as much as you can get
Beta glucan (1,3 1,6) - 10 to 500 mg
Chlorophyll - 50 mg
Green Tea Extract - 100 mg
Korean Red Panax Ginseng - 100 mg
Like most things in life, Intox-Detox will get you 80% of the way. This is the 99% final solution.
If you can get kratom tea, and it's not illegal by the time you read this, then drink that too. It's like heroine tea, that won't kill you.
It has nearly killed me to find this hangover solution. And the truth is that no one really wants it.
It works. You can get so drunk so often that hopefully, like me, the whole process will become tiresome.
I just read Hungover: The Morning After and One Man's Quest for the Cure. All I can say is that it hit close. Not just to home, but to the home of my consciousness. He hijacked my brain.
In my 15 years following the path of the same quest, I have learned a couple things...
1. Hangovers suck.
2. No one knows what the actual f*ck they are talking about, when it comes to hangovers.
3. Everyone is an expert.
Having recently read the book, I have to come to the same conclusion. Human beings don't want a hangover cure. They want to feel their shame. Maybe evolution requires hangovers. We can't control ourselves. We need consequences.
Forgot to add a few other ingredients for extenuating circumstances...
300 mg caffeine from Guyasa, Yaupon, Teas (green, white, black and red), Yerba Mate, Green Coffee Bean
Theobromine - eating chocolate is fun and healthy
Rhodiola - as much as you can get
Cognizin (citicholine) - 250 mg to get your mind right
The Boswellia and Turmeric should cover it, but if you get particularly bad stomach issues with alcohol, try this.
DGL (licorice extract) - 500 mg
Peppermint oil - 250 to 800 mg
My quest has taken me to about 2 dozen states. To Heaven. To Hell. Half dead and fully alive. I have toasted drinks with kings and bums. I have for centuries ruled over peaceful kingdoms in my mind. I have offered up my life to the will of fate and Dionysus. And I have 100% of nothing to show for it.
But, I did do one thing. I found the antidote to the age-old and dreaded hangover. Do everything above. And you will never get one.
You're welcome. And I'm sorry.