Happy Mother’s Day from Intox-Detox!
Mothers are truly amazing creatures. We all take for granted how absurd and magical the actual process is. They make a person inside of them and then pass said new person from their body into the world. If I didn’t know what I already know I would assume that humans are some bizarre, brutish and grotesque alien race. Nowhere is this absurdity better captured than the Alien films where their life cycle requires a host that doesn’t survive the journey.
Let’s talk about that for a second. In those films when the aliens burst forth from their abdomens, is the host ever wearing a face that would lead you to believe they would ever hug the creature, let alone love it for life? Hell no! And what does a mother do after having endured what amounts to a very similar fate? She cradles the little alien to her chest and let’s it bite her tender nipples. Motherhood is amazing, but it’s also downright bizarre.
It’s like when I spring out of bed after a night of hard whiskey drinking (see where I’m going here?) and stub my big toe on the corner of the bed. In this analogy, I suppose the bed corner is the “dad”. Thanks to Intox-Detox (here it comes – the shameless promotional plug), I’m alert and ready to face the day. However, the barrage of filthy obscenities erupting from my face at the unfathomable throbbing pain in my toe is a cacophony of sights and sounds that I hope my own mother never comes to witness. We’ve all had this experience. Now just imagine that the pain is a million times worse and a watermelon shoots out of your big toe!
And the first thing you do is lie back down and cradle the watermelon to your chest, even let it draw sustenance from the very body it just utterly ravished. And you don’t hate the inexplicably razor sharp corner of the bed, the dad. Far from it! Through your new addition, you come to love him more than ever – transcended in the love you share with the adorable little melon. And it doesn’t end there.
Next you listen to the whining and crying, change its diapers, wipe its boogers and provide moral and emotional support for the next 80 years (or as long as you get). Unless you have lived through a skydiving parachute malfunction, no event has ever caused you more pain in your life than being a mother. And yet, a mom finds a way to love that event and that child more than anything else in her life. Some of them even stub their toe a second or third or fourth time. Motherhood is absolutely absurd. And we all couldn’t be happier that it is so.
In a literal sense, we all would not be here without Mom. She did enough to earn a lifetime of praise by squirting you out of her body. However, most moms, mine included, go on to guide you to become the best person that you can be. They manufacture the very clay from which we’re made, out of almost nothing (with a little help from dad), and then sculpt us into what we become throughout the course of our lives. There is no single better contribution to this world than the mothers who make us into who we are, allowing this adventure of life to go on.
Torture is outlawed by the Geneva Convention – the international laws of man. Yet your mother was literally tortured to get you into this world. Most of them did it voluntarily. Then they did everything for you and listened to your whining, loving you nonetheless every day of your life. They give all their time, their money and their sanity. We owe them a lot more than a bouquet of flowers, a bottle of wine and one day on the calendar. But it’s a good start anyway…
Turning back to my shameless commercial plug – for this Mother’s Day let’s give Mom a little more wine and a lot less whining.
A bad hangover can feel a lot like that stubbed toe, albeit on a much smaller scale.
Intox-Detox can help her enjoy a few of those glasses of wine without suffering the next morning when she wakes up at the crack of dawn to wipe all your butts and boogers. In fact, did you know that most women are already dipping into hangover territory after only 2 or 3 glasses of wine? It’s true. Everything after that is a oneway ticket to Hangover City. You may have a super healthy liver or you might be a genetic freak; anyone else know that one chick that can drink everyone else under the table? It happens, but it’s not common.
After only a couple of glasses the glutathione and liver enzymes required for breaking down alcohol’s toxins become exhausted. Once the liver is backed up, the poisons linger around in your body, roaming the blood stream to the heart, lungs and brain – damaging everything they touch. Not good. This is the primary cause of feeling terrible the next day – aka THE HANGOVER. And it only gets worse with age. With time, wine gets better, but livers and alcohol recovery get weaker.
Intox-Detox is the only product that combines the 2 clinically proven ingredients, in clinically dosed amounts, required to detox, recover and protect from the damaging effects of alcohol. So grab a few packs for mom and let her enjoy a few glasses of wine in peace!
Cheers to moms all over the world from Intox-Detox! Now pick up the phone, call your mom and thank her for letting you torture her for life, and still loving you anyway.
To a better tomorrow,