Intox-Detox Delivery on Demand?
The corporate world has been a little slow on the uptake when it comes to the INTOX-DETOX REVOLUTION. Inferior products like Blowfish (effervescent caffeine and aspirin) and Party Smart (BS magic pill with questionable science) dominate the retail space. Hell, even my #1 FRENEMY competitor Life Support doesn’t yet have distribution wide enough to touch the behemoths like 7-11 and Racetrac. Eventually, we will both be there; both of our products are TOO DAMN GOOD not to be.
Until those people figure it out, we have to think outside the box to get the product to our adoring customers. That might just mean thinking INSIDE THE BOX. Like a pizza box for example, as in delivery of.
The thing about selling a hangover remedy is that people want it now. Intox-Detox is taken BEFORE drinking, so it just won’t do to get it tomorrow. You’re drinking now! And often people don’t set out to get a hangover, except maybe on New Year’s Eve or at an open bar wedding…
It’s kind of like PIZZA. Nobody orders a pie from Amazon. You’re hungry now!
Of course, Intox-Detox does help the next day, but you lose out on that LIVER PROTECTION effect. And if you take ID the next day, the damage will already be done.
Drone Delivery for a Hangover Remedy?
Kind of gives new meaning to the word “DE-LIVER”, huh?
Being a forward thinking company (whose CEO is obsessed with science and sci-fi), our first thought was to deliver Intox-Detox via drones. If it’s good enough to fight proxy wars across the globe, it’s good enough to battle the age-old scourge of the dreaded HANGOVER! Rumor is that Dominoes and Taco Bell, among others, are working on it. Problem is that everyone is tangling with the FAA over it and the technology just isn’t there yet. However, we are going to deliver Intox-Detox in select locales VIA DRONE!
Only thing is that we use the word “drone” loosely, in this case meaning a person in a car, at least for now. So, here’s the deal…
Testing on the Treasure Coast of Florida
Minimum order is 4 packs of Intox-Detox at the $3.99 retail price. There will be a small delivery fee of $5. We’ll get your Intox-Detox to you in under an hour anywhere on the Treasure Coast of Florida. Deal?
- Hours: 7 days a week, 11 am to 12 midnight
- Approximately 1 hour or less
- Minimum order of 4 packs Intox-Detox ($15.96 + delivery fee/tip)
- Pre-pay via Credit Card only
- Treasure Coast delivery area includes Port St. Lucie, Jensen Beach, Stuart, Ft. Pierce and Hobe Sound
- $4.99 delivery fee
- Tipping drivers highly encouraged
- No coupons accepted
Now I have to go hire some drones. Or start building one. Should I call the FAA?
Stay #LIVERSTRONG because #HANGOVERSSUCK!